Stoner girls are a rare breed of female. Some of us like to get baked and go shopping while some of us despise shopping and would much rather play video games and build gravity bongs all day. But still, though we may all have our differences, there are a few traits that I’m sure all of us Stoner Girls possess.
You Find Weed at the Bottom of All Your Purses
Seriously, if you could gather up all the remnants of bud that have been sitting in all 50 purses in your closet, you probably wouldn’t need to visit your dealer or local dispensary for at least six months! But then again, you’re a stoner girl and you appreciate your fine fresh herbs.
Bobby Pins and Earrings Are Not Just Accessories
You’ve lost track of how many times you’ve taken a bobby pin out of your hair to pack a joint or unclog a bowl. You are always the star of your stoner boy group for coming through with a sharp earring every time you need to poke holes in your make-shift apple pipe or water bottle piece.
You’ve Burned Your Hair Before
A good stoner girl learns from her mistakes. You’ve endured that embarrassing moment of being surrounded by your friends when all of a sudden you go in for that massive hit and next thing you know there’s a horrible stench in the air. Then someone yells: “Your bangs are on fire!” After going through life with a chunk of your hair missing and having to answer to “What the hell happened to your head?!” you will never smoke without a scrunchie again.
Your Really Girly Pieces Make Your Guy Friends Uncomfortable
Because you are a classy lady-stoner you obviously have the most impressive collection of glitter bongs, Hello Kitty bowls and pink lighters in existence. With so many cute smoking accessories available, it’s hard to resist bringing them out, even when it’s just your dude friends over. Your unicorn bubbler may look innocent but when looking around the room, it looks like your guy friends have never been as stoned in their lives.
You Can’t Be Trusted to Save Business Cards
We’ve all been there. You meet a cute guy at the bar and he gives you his card. You save it in your wallet and you make a vow not to lose it. But as the night progresses, you finally end up back at your place, and it’s time to roll up that goodnight joint. But what will you use as a filter? You look inside your purse and sure enough that cute guy’s business card is sitting snugly inside your wallet staring back at you. You take a minute before you eventually decide to inevitably start ripping up the cute guy’s card. “Sorry dude, if it’s meant to be it’s meant to be.”
You Are Extremely Resourceful
If you’ve ever visited the women’s section of a store and then transitioned onto the men’s side, you will always find that the women’s side has pretty much double the variety in everything! If we were ever trapped on a deserted island we would probably be able to make a radio, a water filter, and a fire from all the accessories we are used to carrying on our person. Stoner girls are some of the most resourceful people on the planet! A sunglass case is a great place to stash joints so they don’t get squished, a tampon is the ultimate stash-box, and a bra can hide just about anything without being suspicious.
You Don’t Need a Grinder, You Have Nails
Grinders are definitely a necessity for any smokers repertoire. However, for a stoner on-the-go, sometimes carrying a lighter, a bowl, the weed, and a grinder can become quite impractical. Thankfully you’re a stoner gal and you can crush that weed at the same rate as the finest grinder on the market, thanks to your freshly polished manicure. Got yourself some acrylics? Even better! The longer the claws the fiercer the tiger.
You Just Don’t Give a F*CK!
Stoner women are notorious for being some of the chillest people on Earth. Most of the time we don’t mind staying in and enjoying some sushi in bed rather than having a lavish night out. Our ideal date is getting stoned and visiting an arcade and if we ever get pissed off at you, we take a hit and it’s like nothing ever happened.
You Have a Finer Taste in Munchies
It goes without saying that stoner culture is infamous for pigging out and inventing some pretty beastly late-night concoctions. However, when it comes to us stoner ladies, I want to say we appreciate the finer things in life and there is nothing better than getting stoned and chowing down on some tuna tartar. And for dessert? Some creme brûlée, please!
In this case we are using the word ash as a verb, not a noun. We are not referring to the burnt tip that falls off the end of your joint. Instead we are talking about the act of getting rid of the residue that burning weed leaves behind. A good stoner is always obliged to ash responsibly. Nobody likes the a**hole that ashes on the floor or is too lazy to find an ashtray and ashes into a cup.
This is perhaps one of the most confusing word choices for those living outside of the stoner circle. A bowl is one of the most popular tools used for smoking weed. When a stoner buys a bowl they will usually pick one that matches their own personal style. Whether they are a ganja princess or a tokemon master, bowls come in all shapes and sizes! A stoner will usually own a wide array of bowls throughout their life.
A stoner’s least favorite word. This means that whatever you are smoking out of has reached its end and there is no more green bud to smoke. When these words are uttered during a sesh everyone looks around to see who’s going to reload the bowl or roll the next joint.
There’s no other way to describe some really amazing sticky buds other than to say that it’s dank. This word is universal and will be recognized by stoners everywhere!
This top notch weed grows at the bottom of the plant and collects all the THC crystals that fall from the top buds and trickle down. These are considered the most potent nugs of the plant.
This word usually has a negative connotation, it is used to describe a stoner that has smoked to the point of no return. This is a synonym for the ever popular term: burnout.
Contrary to popular belief, this word does not come from Jamaican culture. It is actually one of the original sanskrit words for hemp.
An expression used to describe smoking in an enclosed area to trap all the smoke. This is essentially the most effective way to get high off your weed and most popularly done in a car. When someone gets a new car it is a stoner tradition to gather all the stoners you can fit and hotbox it together for the first time.
A strain of Marijuana that gives you a couch-like body high. It is great for curing insomnia but terrible for getting sh*t done. Think of it this way: Indica= In-da-Couch.
The most popular way to smoke cannabis. To roll a joint is a skill that not all possess but those who do will always be MVPs. Other words for a joint are: “Jays,” “Whiteboys,” and “Paper planes.”
Most commonly used to describe “high grade marijuana.” Some classic Kush strains are Purple Kush and OG Kush, both extremely potent indica strains.
This is without a doubt one of the most important tools to a stoner. Without fire there’s no sesh, and 80 percent of the time a stoner will always forget the lighter! But the ganja gods always seem to come through and a stoner in need always seems to find a lighter when they need one. Since stoners are easily distracted peopl,e the lighter usually gets left behind at the sesh anyway so that it can be redelivered to the next stoner in need… and the lighter karma continues.
A great name for a bong, a person, or pretty much anything!
Nugs—the part of the marijuana plant that stoners love most. This is another name for the buds of the plant which contain all the THC that cannabis enthusiasts use to smoke, vaporize, or cook with.
A really fun smoke trick. Blowing O’s can actually get you higher because the amount of control it takes requires you to hold the smoke in for longer. Smoking tricks are an art and they can take a few years to perfect, but OOO’s are always a good place to start. Once you’ve nailed it, you can move on to the french inhale.
A word used to generalize any smoking device besides paper. In the past, desperate stoners have made pieces out of apples, water bottles, and even Starburst candy. (Seriously, look it up!)
Seven grams of weed. Usually sold for $75-80. If you’re ever unsure of how much pot to buy, gather up a couple of stoner friends, pitch in about $10 each, and you’re sure to have a great sesh with enough leftovers for everybody!
Regs are always cheaper than higher grade marijuana. Also called schwag weed or reggies, they are a lower grade of marijuana usually grown outdoors. Dealers usually sell regs for people to cook with not to smoke.
This is the opposite of the Indica strain. This kind of weed is every stoner’s favorite because it allows you to go throughout your day stoned but still active and productive. Here’s a good way to remember it: Sativa=Activa.
The psychoactive part of the marijuana plant. Or shall we say the best part? It’s what makes the buds gleam in the light and what makes you giggle like a preschooler for hours with your friends.
Uruguay became the first country in the world to completely legalize marijuana on December 10th, 2013. Ever since, the legalization of pot in Uruguay has been dubbed the “great experiment.”
A healthier alternative to smoking. It is the process of gently heating up the weed and smoking the vapor it releases rather than burning it and inhaling the smoke into your lungs.
(W)—Wake n’ Bake
This is the act of waking up and taking a rip off the bong that’s sitting on your nightstand. It’s the most important time of the day followed by the most important meal of the day.
When the weed is so loud it could wake the dead, we call that sh*t “X-Rated”.
Although this is totally not how you spell it, a common spanish terminology for cannabis is “yerba”, properly spelled “hierba”, which literally means ‘a weed’. It may not be how you spell it but that’s definitely how you pronounce it. Also, we couldn’t find another word that started with the letter ‘Y’, so there.
Due to lack of Stoner words that start with Z, we chose a word that describes when you’ve reached the highest of highs. When you are zooted you are basically non-functional. However, this is a temporary term. The zooted-ness eventually wears off and you can continue on with your life.