Stoner girls are a rare breed of female. Some of us like to get baked and go shopping while some of us despise shopping and would much rather play video games and build gravity bongs all day. But still, though we may all have our differences, there are a few traits that I’m sure all of us Stoner Girls possess.
You Find Weed at the Bottom of All Your Purses
Seriously, if you could gather up all the remnants of bud that have been sitting in all 50 purses in your closet, you probably wouldn’t need to visit your dealer or local dispensary for at least six months! But then again, you’re a stoner girl and you appreciate your fine fresh herbs.
Bobby Pins and Earrings Are Not Just Accessories
You’ve lost track of how many times you’ve taken a bobby pin out of your hair to pack a joint or unclog a bowl. You are always the star of your stoner boy group for coming through with a sharp earring every time you need to poke holes in your make-shift apple pipe or water bottle piece.
You’ve Burned Your Hair Before
A good stoner girl learns from her mistakes. You’ve endured that embarrassing moment of being surrounded by your friends when all of a sudden you go in for that massive hit and next thing you know there’s a horrible stench in the air. Then someone yells: “Your bangs are on fire!” After going through life with a chunk of your hair missing and having to answer to “What the hell happened to your head?!” you will never smoke without a scrunchie again.
Your Really Girly Pieces Make Your Guy Friends Uncomfortable
Because you are a classy lady-stoner you obviously have the most impressive collection of glitter bongs, Hello Kitty bowls and pink lighters in existence. With so many cute smoking accessories available, it’s hard to resist bringing them out, even when it’s just your dude friends over. Your unicorn bubbler may look innocent but when looking around the room, it looks like your guy friends have never been as stoned in their lives.
You Can’t Be Trusted to Save Business Cards
We’ve all been there. You meet a cute guy at the bar and he gives you his card. You save it in your wallet and you make a vow not to lose it. But as the night progresses, you finally end up back at your place, and it’s time to roll up that goodnight joint. But what will you use as a filter? You look inside your purse and sure enough that cute guy’s business card is sitting snugly inside your wallet staring back at you. You take a minute before you eventually decide to inevitably start ripping up the cute guy’s card. “Sorry dude, if it’s meant to be it’s meant to be.”
You Are Extremely Resourceful
If you’ve ever visited the women’s section of a store and then transitioned onto the men’s side, you will always find that the women’s side has pretty much double the variety in everything! If we were ever trapped on a deserted island we would probably be able to make a radio, a water filter, and a fire from all the accessories we are used to carrying on our person. Stoner girls are some of the most resourceful people on the planet! A sunglass case is a great place to stash joints so they don’t get squished, a tampon is the ultimate stash-box, and a bra can hide just about anything without being suspicious.
You Don’t Need a Grinder, You Have Nails
Grinders are definitely a necessity for any smokers repertoire. However, for a stoner on-the-go, sometimes carrying a lighter, a bowl, the weed, and a grinder can become quite impractical. Thankfully you’re a stoner gal and you can crush that weed at the same rate as the finest grinder on the market, thanks to your freshly polished manicure. Got yourself some acrylics? Even better! The longer the claws the fiercer the tiger.
You Just Don’t Give a F*CK!
Stoner women are notorious for being some of the chillest people on Earth. Most of the time we don’t mind staying in and enjoying some sushi in bed rather than having a lavish night out. Our ideal date is getting stoned and visiting an arcade and if we ever get pissed off at you, we take a hit and it’s like nothing ever happened.
You Have a Finer Taste in Munchies
It goes without saying that stoner culture is infamous for pigging out and inventing some pretty beastly late-night concoctions. However, when it comes to us stoner ladies, I want to say we appreciate the finer things in life and there is nothing better than getting stoned and chowing down on some tuna tartar. And for dessert? Some creme brûlée, please!